how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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