Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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