Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
