i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
