Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
