Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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