She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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