so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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