Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
home. puking in laundry basket.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
