I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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