he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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