On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
