How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
