remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
