I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
