if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
