maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm just crazy horny about you
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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