Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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