You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
