he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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