I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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