Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
