I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
