She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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