Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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