She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Your cock deserves a montage
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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