You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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