Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
