Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize