my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
