I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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