I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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