I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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