I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
