oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
