I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
