If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
