Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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