My hair reeks of homosexuality.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
