I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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