and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
