Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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