Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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