She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
