The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
