420 ftw
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
