I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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