guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
