You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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