How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
