I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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