I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
pray to the hookup gods
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
