I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
