Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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