i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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