is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize