have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
