I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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