is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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