I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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