I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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