i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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