Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
