At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
