...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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