I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
