I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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